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In the Victorian era, certain topics were simply too awkward to discuss.
"What about my wedding night?"—a young girl might ask her mother.
"You'll find out on your own,"—her mother would reply, looking down in embarrassment.
Victorian views on childbirth may seem strange to modern society. To begin with, freckled girls were advised against having children, as it was considered unsuitable for them. Women who pursued careers were believed to be depriving their children of life before they were even born.
Talking about pregnancy in public was deemed improper. While the news of pregnancy was joyful, people questioned how the woman had gotten into such a state in the first place! Victorian society preferred to pretend that men and women spent their evenings reading books.
When discussing pregnancy, women used subtle euphemisms with close family and friends, saying things like, "I am no longer alone," "the baby has arrived," or "I am expecting." A pregnant belly was considered an embarrassment, so women wore corsets until late in their pregnancies. Appearing in public while visibly pregnant was seen as highly inappropriate.
Things were even worse for working-class women. Many lost their jobs upon revealing their pregnancy, stripping them of financial independence.
The Industrial Revolution emphasized speed and nonstop productivity, making pregnancy inconvenient for factory work.
Factory owners often dismissed pregnant women. To avoid losing their jobs, many women hid their pregnancies from their employers for as long as possible.
"Yes, you may be glowing with happiness and all that, but you are also a disturbing reminder of humanity’s primal instincts and reproductive urges that we cannot escape."—Theresa O’Neill, The Untamed.
The most common birthing position was lying on the left side with knees tucked to the belly. This position prevented doctors and patients from seeing each other directly, allowing a Victorian woman to maintain her dignity during childbirth.
From a Victorian perspective, if a baby girl was born, the best career path for her was a successful marriage. Until the 19th century, women’s primary role was assumed to be taking care of the household and clothing.
Virtually every Victorian novel revolved around marriage and love. Think of Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice. Yet, Victorian mothers kept their daughters in the dark about marital duties until the very last moment.
Can you imagine the shock newlywed couples must have felt on their wedding night, discovering things they had never been told about, and realizing what childbirth actually involved?
A timid, frightened girl—this is how doctors and writers in the 19th century often described young brides. Many were deeply shocked and angered that their mothers had kept them in the dark about what marriage entailed.
Of course, if all a girl ever heard was that "babies are found in cabbage patches" or "bought from the vegetable seller," she would never even consider that reality might be different.
Writer Mary Stopes was born in 1880. Her mother, a women’s suffrage activist and university graduate, fought for women’s rights—but she never told her daughter about marital intimacy.
Mary married at 31, only to realize two years later that her marriage had been completely unconsummated. Later, Stopes wrote a book titled "Married Love," aiming to educate young women like herself about the realities of relationships.
In the Bridgerton series, based on Julia Quinn’s novels, we see a similar theme—a young woman entirely unprepared for married life. Instead of learning from her mother, she is forced to turn to her maid for guidance.
Indeed, during the Victorian era, there were no enlightening books on intimacy. And if a proper mother stubbornly refused to speak, daughters had no choice but to seek advice from nannies and housemaids—women who were far less shy about such matters.
"What about my wedding night?"—a young girl might ask her mother.
"You'll find out on your own,"—her mother would reply, looking down in embarrassment.
Victorian views on childbirth may seem strange to modern society. To begin with, freckled girls were advised against having children, as it was considered unsuitable for them. Women who pursued careers were believed to be depriving their children of life before they were even born.
Talking about pregnancy in public was deemed improper. While the news of pregnancy was joyful, people questioned how the woman had gotten into such a state in the first place! Victorian society preferred to pretend that men and women spent their evenings reading books.
When discussing pregnancy, women used subtle euphemisms with close family and friends, saying things like, "I am no longer alone," "the baby has arrived," or "I am expecting." A pregnant belly was considered an embarrassment, so women wore corsets until late in their pregnancies. Appearing in public while visibly pregnant was seen as highly inappropriate.
Things were even worse for working-class women. Many lost their jobs upon revealing their pregnancy, stripping them of financial independence.
The Industrial Revolution emphasized speed and nonstop productivity, making pregnancy inconvenient for factory work.
Factory owners often dismissed pregnant women. To avoid losing their jobs, many women hid their pregnancies from their employers for as long as possible.
"Yes, you may be glowing with happiness and all that, but you are also a disturbing reminder of humanity’s primal instincts and reproductive urges that we cannot escape."—Theresa O’Neill, The Untamed.
The most common birthing position was lying on the left side with knees tucked to the belly. This position prevented doctors and patients from seeing each other directly, allowing a Victorian woman to maintain her dignity during childbirth.
From a Victorian perspective, if a baby girl was born, the best career path for her was a successful marriage. Until the 19th century, women’s primary role was assumed to be taking care of the household and clothing.
Virtually every Victorian novel revolved around marriage and love. Think of Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice. Yet, Victorian mothers kept their daughters in the dark about marital duties until the very last moment.
Can you imagine the shock newlywed couples must have felt on their wedding night, discovering things they had never been told about, and realizing what childbirth actually involved?
A timid, frightened girl—this is how doctors and writers in the 19th century often described young brides. Many were deeply shocked and angered that their mothers had kept them in the dark about what marriage entailed.
Of course, if all a girl ever heard was that "babies are found in cabbage patches" or "bought from the vegetable seller," she would never even consider that reality might be different.
Writer Mary Stopes was born in 1880. Her mother, a women’s suffrage activist and university graduate, fought for women’s rights—but she never told her daughter about marital intimacy.
Mary married at 31, only to realize two years later that her marriage had been completely unconsummated. Later, Stopes wrote a book titled "Married Love," aiming to educate young women like herself about the realities of relationships.
In the Bridgerton series, based on Julia Quinn’s novels, we see a similar theme—a young woman entirely unprepared for married life. Instead of learning from her mother, she is forced to turn to her maid for guidance.
Indeed, during the Victorian era, there were no enlightening books on intimacy. And if a proper mother stubbornly refused to speak, daughters had no choice but to seek advice from nannies and housemaids—women who were far less shy about such matters.
